As you probably know, I’ve been doing a 30/30 on the Tupelo Press website this month. I’ve also been trying to fundraise for the project—and, to put it bluntly, that hasn’t been going well. The fundraising aspect is just as important as the writing itself; without it, they cannot keep the 30/30 going. It’s been going every month for twelve years now, and Kirsten Miles, who leads it, puts in an incredible amount of hard work. As do all the poets who participate in it each go-round. It has been an incredibly valuable experience for me, and I want to share a little of the ‘behind the scenes’ aspects with you all. So, from now until April 30th, I will be sending out a short newsletter every day, featuring some thoughts and experiences I’ve had while participating in it.
Despite the fact that the only deadlines I have are self imposed, I totally relate to the "This rules/no this sucks/no this is just 'meh'" process of putting things into the world...for way too long it kept me paralyzed from doing anything but filling up notebooks with stuff I thought was hot shit one minute, then too embarrassing to look at ever again shortly thereafter. I don't know what did it, but something finally clicked in my head where I just decided "fuck it, just DO something...if it's good then great; and if it really does suck then keep doing it until it doesn't suck." (Of course, it's easy to be sanguine about such things if you assume that no one is actually paying attention...I guess if I thought I had any audience I might be a little more self-conscious about it. But, at least for me, that feels like putting the cart before the horse...)
I just always return to that Beckett line: "Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Fail again. Fail better."
Despite the fact that the only deadlines I have are self imposed, I totally relate to the "This rules/no this sucks/no this is just 'meh'" process of putting things into the world...for way too long it kept me paralyzed from doing anything but filling up notebooks with stuff I thought was hot shit one minute, then too embarrassing to look at ever again shortly thereafter. I don't know what did it, but something finally clicked in my head where I just decided "fuck it, just DO something...if it's good then great; and if it really does suck then keep doing it until it doesn't suck." (Of course, it's easy to be sanguine about such things if you assume that no one is actually paying attention...I guess if I thought I had any audience I might be a little more self-conscious about it. But, at least for me, that feels like putting the cart before the horse...)
I just always return to that Beckett line: "Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Fail again. Fail better."